Hey, Anon, I did the same thing years ago. I knew I'd meet my life partner at some point and had already finished up a long term relationship/divorce. This was such a beautiful experience I gave myself (less outward moving energy and more inward). I'm really glad I did it and it ended up that my good friend a year later actually became my husband - been 15 wonderful years now.

I dealt with it by giving out what I wanted to draw in so did a lot with friends, held meditation meetings, did volunteer work (collected money and made Easter Baskets and Christmas Stockings for Women and Kids in shelters), had open house (Ashram night) at my home where people came to chat and connect, spent time in nature, time alone, Yoga, Tai Chi, Kung Fu and loving up my cat.

There are studies that show that for optimum health you need so many hugs a day. They've found, however, that the body releases the same chemicals whether someone hugged their favorite teddy bear, petted a loved animal or hugged someone they cared about.

Yoginis/Yogis eat less 'rajastic' or stimulating foods like garlic, onions, meats, alcohol and strong spices in order to mitigate the sexual energy then they use meditation and postures to utilize that energy for spiritual awareness. Although they also include a bit of Bhakti yoga - focusing on a loved saint, teacher or personified deity to stimulate that love flow in the heart. I didn't feel a need to do that...oh wait I accidentally did turn vegetarian in that time period and ate bland food and desired no alcohol, hmmm...well it wasn't planned, lol. Anyway kids are fun to cuddle as are pets. I even volunteered at a local cat/dog rescue place and got to love up a lot of animals that needed it.

I'm married, and had a connection with someone who agreed we shouldn't have an affair with drama and expectations and all the icky things that accompany affairs. So after much discussion we felt we could be friends with cuddling benefits. We went on some time holding hands, hugging, cuddling, and occasionally making out, but never went further physically. Eventually we felt it wise to stop before hurting others.

So I say yes, there is such a friendship available if you're willing to ask for it and find someone compatible.

I think I might have a mild sort of PTSD that is expressing itself as me not wanting to be sexual...even though the trauma is from a "relationship" that never became physical. I was just so vulnerable and felt emotionally violated - yet I'm not shutting down emotionally, just with physical intimacy. Is that weird?

i suggest that you determine the SOURCE of need.
I caution you to beware of the diverting of energy requirements from one area to another( from the need for sex to the need for emotional connection) thus possibly DERAILING your energy independance. Your energy should flow freely out of you and freely BACK to you as well, and such emotional dependance can causeharm to both you and any relationship you might care to pursue, in its extreme form, it can become full blown dependance on others for your self worth , not that im saying thats where you are, just that its definitely a possible end result.

Hi Anon124,

I've read everything everyone had to say and I agree most strongly with Wonderingwolf's statement: "i suggest that you determine the SOURCE of need."

There is never a right answer that can come from an outside source because only you can connect with your personal psychology and your true emotional make-up. Therefore, if you can practice total non-judgement and allow yourself to sit somewhere quietly and meditate on the question "why have I decided that celibacy is the answer to this situation" then a real and pure answer will arise. But it is important that you just allow whatever feelings arise to just come up to the surface without judging or analyzing those feelings. Then cry it on out or laugh it out...whichever suites you and then go get a massage from an awakening therapist (oh and licensed too) so that he/she can help those emotions push themselves up and out of the body's tissues without verbally getting in the way of your healing time.