Hello Everyone! Its been a long time since I posted on here! I just returned to the San Francisco Bay Area after a year and 7 months in Syracuse, NY staying with my grandmother. It was in some ways a very hard time for me....but in other ways very easy....I didnt have to pay rent. I was staying with family and fairly comfortable at home. I formed a closer relationship with my grandmother, and she even accepted me being gay, which she had literally openly reviled in the past. She even drove me to the drag shows I was performing in, with her older sister!
So it was amazing. I had a chance to connect with other family members and make some new friends.....and very importantly, work and save some money, preparing myself to move back here to the Bay, where I had left, due to financial instability/struggle. Now Im back in the bay area, and the problem isnt having the money itself....but its my job. My job in Syracuse transferred me to a location they have in San Frnacisco. I thought it would be great! I got a promotion, and a raise all in one! I became a manager....so there would be more responsibility, which looks great on my resume for the future as well! My plan was to come, transfer with the job, work at it fulltime (its retail) and do massage part time on my days off. But....now that Im a couple weeks into the new job, Ive come to decide I really extremely dislike it...mostly because I feel the manager doesnt communicate and doesnt give us the proper training. Between that and the fact that I havent found a place to live yet and am staying with friends, so I dont really have a space to truly unwind, and relax/release.
Its very stressful. I found myself at work getting so nauseous and uncomfortable I wanted to throw up. Several times I considered just walking out..but then Id be back to where I was before....struggling with no job, only a couple massage clients, at the mercy of friends or kind people who let me stay with them for a time, in trade for massage or housework.
I dont want to do that anymore, but I also cant continue the way I am now....the job is making me physically/emotionally/psychically/spiritually ill. Ive allowed it to overcome me....and its a very dark scary feeling.
So...I decided last night Im going to go get my city Massage Permit ASAP and go look for a massage job, where I can practice massage, and energywork....it will be more physically demanding but much more rewarding, and no manager bossing me around. Even working for someone else, all I need to do, is abide by the health laws, and policies of the establishment, and do what I do best!
A win-win sitaution! Plus I can work part time, and make around the same amount of money i do in retail fulltime, if not more.....
What do you folks think?
I know the economy isnt looking that great to most people, but is retail really more secure than the healing arts?
Im thinking I need to do this for my sanity. On top of it all, myself and my boss are BOTH Pisces! I feel his emotions VERY strongly and thats the main reason I start to feel ill at work. Ive tried flower essences and kava....perhaps I need to start carrying some obsidian stones or wearing hematite. I know If I start to meditate more it will help as well...but Im really not sure of the right decision here...in any case it would be at least another month before Id have a massage job so Id hafta stick with this one until then...as I simply cant afford to leave....I need to move into a place asap.
Any advice?

Shekinah Love