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ately i have been having problems controlling it and i have noticed its getting worse and worse and i actually have gotten to the point of where i am so miserable that i think id rather be dead than have to put up with all of this...my empathy is slowly claiming my life and the things i used to have....for instance i was engaged to a wonderful person we were great never had any problems or anything and hadn't really even fought the whole time we had been together, and then i started losing a grip on controlling empathy and i got to a place where i was constantly depressed, had no desire to do anything, i was always crying (even when there was no reason to be)...and because of all this it triggered anxiety and i started having to have someone around all the time because i was afraid what might happen if i was alone and when no one was around i would have panic attacks and i thought you know maybe i just have problems....well i went to the doctor and they have took me on and off so many different medications nothing works and they didn't know what it was and well i have pen pointed the problem and i just don't know how to fix it.....but anyways my fiance got to the point where it was just to much and he couldn't handle seeing me so depressed all the time and he was starting to have problems and so we ended up breaking up about 2 and a half weeks ago which doesn't help any and now me and my parents are always arguing because they don't understand any of this and we got into a huge argument and i ended up getting kicked out so now im living with a friend and this empathy though is just too overwhelming and honestly cant take much more...it has got me to the bottom and to the point where i am hopeless because it wont end and if i don't find some kind of help soon i don't know what im going to do....so if anyone has any advise it would be lovely to here some ...and i have tried i little bit of shielding...but it really didn't help much
Thanks alot
AllyCat
Thanks alot
AllyCat
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Unsu...
Re: empathy problems
Thu, July 19, 2007 - 2:10 PMBeen there - still there in some ways - Agoraphobia is nasty but you will move through it - it takes time. Get some 'rescue remedy'. Let go of the attatchment to that certain thing that you have been allowing - I know this is a harsh phrase and it took me a long time to accept it, but I had been allowing a certain person to rule my life and I had to get out of it, but it was worth it.
Hope this helps
blessings,
Andy
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Re: empathy problems
Thu, July 19, 2007 - 2:54 PMI would be interested to know what field you work in, what your occupation is. Some occupations are definately worse than others in terms of putting you in direct contact with those who are in emotional or physical pain. Nursing or social services for instance. Could this be contributing to some of the problem? What about people you may have in your life that just drain you emotionally? Sometimes these people inadvertently take a huge toll on us. -
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Re: empathy problems
Wed, July 25, 2007 - 4:21 AMthe thing is is that im young...like still in high school havent found a job yet....have a pretty stress free life atm....thats while i dont understand any of this
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Re: empathy problems
Thu, July 19, 2007 - 3:58 PMI recognize the panic and anxiety problem. Still fighting those.
You might want to check the Emotional Freedom Theraphy approach:
www.emofree.com/
The learning material is free and you can 'apply' it to yourself!
I can't guarantee any progress, but it certainly won't hurt either. :) -
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Re: empathy problems
Fri, July 20, 2007 - 5:12 AMDo you tell your Dr. you are an empath?
Do you tell him/her that you think you know the source of your emotional distress?
I think if you did, they would be better able to treat you. Maybe they are prescribing drugs for you for physical ailments that have nothing to do with what you are feeling.
As Dr's they look inside the text book for things that might be bothering a person. I don't think this sounds so text book and wonder if you would share with him/her what you are feeling and why. My guess is a psychiatrist would frown upon such ideas of empathy and empaths, but still I would mention it so as to better diagnose and treat your needs.
There is another idea that I might get slammed for posting here since it is not empath related and in fact somewhat pushes empathy aside in order to grasp it. A councellor I know suggests empathy and empath related pain is actually an addiction to trauma and distress. I am still contemplating this, but it might be relevant to you. She suggests that when a person lives with emotional stress, dillemas, traumatic situations over and over again, that they are wired to seek it instead of just empathize with it when it is encountered, either within their own life or in others lives. What might be empathy, might be, but you might be looking for it subconciously (if you have so much it takes over and destroys parts of your life). I don't know enough of either to say for sure, which is why I suggested you mention your empathic ability to your Dr.
Like a child growing up in a war ridden country is constantly looking up waiting for the next bomb to hit, the theory is, take the child from the war zone and they lose the fear of it, stop looking for it to happen. This never happens apparently. They still await pain and suffering, expect it bc it is programmed in them to do so.
Maybe you have felt empathy so long you look for it, subconciously and that is why there is so much. Maybe you are programmed from past experiences to look for things to cling to that require the need to feel empathy or the need to fix things.
Maybe we all do it?
I don't know enough of either to say, but if you are seriously depressed, I would certainly look into this deeper with your Dr. and not just read a book or a message board to seek answers. This is your mental/emotional health. I think our emotional well being warrants microscopic analysis. You obviously seem to feel the need for the Dr. so I would suggest you share with them your ideas of what the problem is so they can help fix it.
Blocking/shielding - that all sounds fine unless there is a serious underlaying issue that is being ignored and obviously you are not ignoring it.
To your health!
Good for you that you are seeking all aspects of help you can find.
I wish you the best. You are a strong person to ask for so much and I am sure you will find it. -
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Unsu...
Re: empathy problems
Fri, July 20, 2007 - 1:33 PMSa,
I don't know about where you come from (and I'm not being nasty), but where I come from, doctors raise their eyebrows to 'such nonsense', and immediately write a referral to a psychiatrist.
This person is going through massive change and I believe that the panic and anxiety is related to something that no doctor (unless he/she is spiritually aware, can work out).
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Unsu...
Re: empathy problems
Fri, July 20, 2007 - 5:43 PMalison, I would be curious as to why you are being empathic only to the negative stuff? Why not to people's positive feelings, too? Are you hanging around a lot of negative people? These are just questons to ask yourself. Perhaps the depression is due to something else? Sometimes we can feel misunderstood, and that alone can trigger depression. I'm so sorry you are going through this. -
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Re: empathy problems
Fri, July 20, 2007 - 8:09 PMHi Alison,
I feel you are very confused and before you can begin to heal your issues, you have to be aware of what you are trying to express.
Being an empath means that you are able to identify with and understand another persons situation, feelings, and motives. In other words, you have the gift of picking up on what people are really feeling, saying and meaning... whether they say it or not and that includes the good and the bad.
Being an empath also means that YOU have feelings and emotions.
First you have to determine if what you are feeling is YOUR feelings or if your empathic powers are picking up on other people feelings and emotions and you are believing that they are yours... It might be a combination of the two.. but you need to be "specific" if you want to heal... You can't hope to begin to heal if you don't even know what you are dealing with.
I can't tell you what you are feeling as that is for you to decide.. and at this moment, I'm not picking up anything except massive confusion and heartbreak. Once you have more specifics, I can help you help yourself.. either way... but it's not a "quick fix"....
John
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Unsu...
Re: empathy problems
Fri, July 20, 2007 - 11:01 PMHave you been to a naturopath/alternative practitioner and have your hormones levels checked. There is a fine balance between adrenal gland (fight,flight,freeze -- cortisol levels low or too high -- STRESS ) -- thyroid -- ovaries .......... If one is out your whole system can be out of sync ......... regular medical doctors do not do enough tests to get an accurate diagnosis .......... adrenal glands have 3 stages of exhaustion (Google search) sugar cravings, poor memory, anxiety, insomnia, depression, tired but wired, fatigue, hard to get up in the morning, lightheaded, loss of desire ........... it is underdiagnosed .......... they need extra B vitamins, vitamin C, Herbs rhodiola , ashwaganda are nourishing and adaptogens to take for 6mon or so. ( Just recently found this out in myself ) .............. looking back now I know I have had this occur quite a few times ..................... I am highly sensitive to others and take on too much that is not mine, from a very young age ................ I have looked at the Emotional Freedom Technique awhile back and did some work on myself for a short time .... don't know if I really had an effect. I have worked off & on with a counsellor on some intimacy/fear issues and last week we experimented with EFT and I had a very emotional response when she tapped on me after me first doing the tapping on myself .......... About 7-8 years ( short time after a spiritual awakening ) I did quite a bit of Rebirthing (breathing technique) that put me in altered states of consciousness and had some intense emotional experiences and felt so calm,relaxed afterwards . After about 8-10 sessions very little happened, just alot of energy running through my body............... Last summer I met a couple from California who did sound healing and angel clearings and went through some intense shifts which she told me was not my stuff and just let it go .......... Laughter Yoga was really good as well to create a biofeedback loop in the brain , as it does not really know the difference between reality and faking it www.laughteryoga.org .......... Check out www.neilslade.com to learn about the parts of the brain and they all work ........... The last 10 years have been pretty experiential for me ............... I really take more time for myself to relax,stretch, laugh, breathe, eat healthy, walk, ........... Prem Rawat ( Maharaji) has some simple advice on inner peace ......................
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Unsu...
Re: empathy problems
Sun, July 22, 2007 - 5:44 PMi had a similar problem when i was in the military. Allot of it was caused by medication. if your taking ambien stop! thats what triggerd allot of depression out of the blue. and i was on depo. the best thing to do with the anxiety is to get xanex and dont, dont; take the onesthat take weeks to start working because they fuck you up even more when you get off or change medications. the things that really help me with axiety is of course being with people but also keeping buisy like, cleaning, walking working out, anything that you can exert energy and take focus off the current thoughts of your mind. it took me a long time to learn to controll my anxiety and even now there are times when it is to strong but thats what the xanex is for and weed. so i hope this helped but i was there where all you can think about is ways to kill yourself and then you freak out because thats not the person you are and you just dont know what to do with yourself.. it's crazy i know but keep trying to place it undercontroll find different things that make you happy and through yourself into them eventually you will gain controll but i really recomemd not taking any meds exept xanex or weed. :) weed really will calm you down and take away any pain you might be feeling that would cause and anxiety or depression attack.. i hope this has helped just write me if you need and more info.
