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my emotional pain is hard to describe
it gnaws at my very being never ending
no matter what I do it rips at my soul
imagining a life without it is hopeless
living with such torment is not that easy
for its grasp upon me has taken its toll
not letting it consume me is a struggle
this pain appears the only thing I know
trying to get rid of it has exhausted me
many things I have done to eliminate it
yet it resists every attempt continually
my emotional pain seems here to stay
this realization in a sense has freed me
now I view it to be absolutely different
expressing my pain through words helps
releasing my anguish provides some relief
finally I've found purpose within my pain
where this will all take me I do not know
for others grow tired of hearing me groan
maybe pain too will weary leaving me alone
or maybe I’ll accept this pain as normal
something as My Abnormalities Normality
my felt sense of emotional pain is just me
me a sensitive and what’s wrong with that
~Keith Alan Hamilton~
it gnaws at my very being never ending
no matter what I do it rips at my soul
imagining a life without it is hopeless
living with such torment is not that easy
for its grasp upon me has taken its toll
not letting it consume me is a struggle
this pain appears the only thing I know
trying to get rid of it has exhausted me
many things I have done to eliminate it
yet it resists every attempt continually
my emotional pain seems here to stay
this realization in a sense has freed me
now I view it to be absolutely different
expressing my pain through words helps
releasing my anguish provides some relief
finally I've found purpose within my pain
where this will all take me I do not know
for others grow tired of hearing me groan
maybe pain too will weary leaving me alone
or maybe I’ll accept this pain as normal
something as My Abnormalities Normality
my felt sense of emotional pain is just me
me a sensitive and what’s wrong with that
~Keith Alan Hamilton~
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Re: knowing emotional pain
Sun, June 14, 2009 - 12:00 PMplease don't try to fix me........ because through acceptance of who I am, I'm fixed according to me :o) -
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Re: knowing emotional pain
Sun, June 14, 2009 - 3:00 PMI have been there, still there. I found that diet and nervine herbs help. Otherwise I guess, I have just learned to live with the pain and frustration of it all. I guess over time, I have gotten somewhat used to it. What I do is limit my distance and contact with those who would affect me too much, and in the last year, have learned how to shield up, to soften the intact.
I used to want out of it, and tried to be like Spock, and turn my emotions off. But it only caused more problems, ended up turning off my developing ability to sense, except for the pain. So I made some really dumb mistakes, and had two disastrous marriages, because I could not sense what they were really like.
I have over time accepted who I am, and trying to develop more of who I really am, I am me, as you put it, and only by being me, can I progress and be of some help to myself and others. That is not to say life will always be pleasant ,but it is getting better, Greater sensitivity brings greater pain, but also greater joy, and one needs to focus on the joy.
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Re: knowing emotional pain
Mon, June 15, 2009 - 10:40 AMGood for you! We don't need fixing. :) -
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Re: knowing emotional pain
Mon, June 15, 2009 - 3:49 PMFuck yes, I'm sensitive, and what the fuck is wrong with that? If it were not for us sensitives, you non-sensitives would have blown the fucking planet up already. So worship us for the Gods that we are!
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Re: knowing emotional pain
Mon, June 15, 2009 - 10:15 PMAcceptance of who you are? Okay, but who are you? A body full of pain? Hummm....doesn't sound very empathic to me. -
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Re: knowing emotional pain
Tue, June 16, 2009 - 8:44 AMSome people take on the pain of others, which others can't or won't deal with. Sounds empathic to me. And yes, the world does need us... -
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Unsu...
Re: knowing emotional pain
Tue, June 16, 2009 - 9:38 AMWow. I have heard you.
There are great wars
And birds still sing
So much pain in the world
And the flowers still open
When will it end
When the birds still sing
And the flowers still open?
When will it end?
When the seeds still burst forth under the twinkling stars of my youth?
So much life
It can stop our throat
And turn down our eyes
Still, I hear the sound of the birds
No strangers to how I feel
How I feel, so right and true
What I say, so good and full of life. -
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Re: knowing emotional pain
Tue, June 16, 2009 - 9:47 AMTruly beautiful London,
Your poem speaks to me that pain and beauty are there and may be stronger for an empath but where we chose to focus is the important part of life.
Do we hang out with the the pain because we've convinced ourselves that it is our shtick in life, do we hang out with it because we believe that we can take someone else's learning experience and processes it out of our own body? or that if we can clear one more ounce of pain then the whole world will be pain free?
Or do we know that the physical/mental dualities will continue to play out as the individual draws them and we can chose to listen to the singing birds and smell the wonderfully fragrant flower. And through this, find some compassion and balance within to become a truly healthy addition to the lives of self and other. -
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Unsu...
Re: knowing emotional pain
Tue, June 16, 2009 - 11:49 AMI believe that we can all sense that it is good to balance the heart and the mind. I think, though, that we can also sense a field beyond the field of the heart and the mind, a field beyond the field of life as we know it, this field of life that is so real, so full, such a complete experience, how could we ever dare imagine a field of being beyond this?
Yet, it must be there, or we wouldn't be attracted to it in everything we say and do and think and feel. What is this field that is, that is, that always is, this field that would give us everything to fill our minds and hearts forever?
It can almost be painful trying to express it, to know even some small something of this field beyond the world. And, yet, I believe this essence of being, this essence of heaven, the heaven we would be and speak and think and know and feel, this essence of heaven, this heavenly being is in all our words, in everything we think and do and say, is everywhere, our inspiration, the eternal dream of life and our own good self, full of the happiness of every being.
It is you. It is me. It is this. And it is all of that. It is a fullness beyond measure that is the measure of everything, attracting us to an eternal destiny that is already been born in us, the design of the Universe for us to tune to and aspire with the whole complex of feelings, all that is good and all that would dominate, balanced in the image of Man. It is only natural to resist this suchness and this fullness of peace. And this resistance, I think, is pain. And this being, I think, is what pain is.
Your words speak to me, too, very much so. -
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Unsu...
Re: knowing emotional pain
Wed, June 17, 2009 - 7:41 AMOr maybe this being is life and bliss, and pain is a conversation it is having with us sometimes.
I am learning. I am always learning. My words do express someone who knows, but someone who aspires to know, for peace.
It has been said that any problem in life can be solved by opening our heart a little bit more. If we are experiencing any kind of suffering, however small, then chances are our heart is opening. In this way, suffering of any kind is part of a beautiful destiny we share with every Saint.
On another note, "empath" is a very new term to me. At least, I haven't heard it for a very long time.
When people are sick, sometimes they take different kinds of medications. And the medications can cause more hurt, or do more to keep the person in hurt. Sickness is a sign that the body wants to heal. There is a tradition that says it is good to support the sickness, and thus the healing of the body.
I have a point here. Sometimes, the very thing we are trying to avoid the most is the very thing we attract, an avalanche of that which we most resist. I can help (or it has helped me) to think of God having a conversation with us and supporting and encouraging the wisdom that the pain has to give us.
When a bee stings us, it is stimulating the flow of energy through a stagnated organ, or transmuting some negativity we are better not to hold anymore. Bees are very wonderful beings. All creatures, bugs and so forth have medicine for us, whether they even touch us or not. If an ant crawls on you, watch where it crawls. If you notice, the ant will not be very much of a bother. He wants to serve you. That is his joy in life. His purpose.
My point is this. If one is in a stress, an acute shock or a longterm and sustained stress of any kind, one can form an acceptance of how we "medicate" ourselves to that subsequent shock. A sustained stress can turn into shock. For me, being a sensitive of any kind, led a peculiar kind of this shock. It is normal and quiet common I have found. What is not normal or common is for people to know they are in shock. Our whole way of life on this continent is conducive to shock, our institutions of religion and education and government, our media, but mostly our families, alcoholism, codependency and the inability to express anger or extreme stress in healthy ways. Due to war and separation from traditional ways of living going back millions of years (and due to a false history of humanity that encourages the sick modern life - and modern life is an advertisement for sickness of soul mediated greatly by dear opening hearts of self-compassion that is so dawning in all of us together).
We come from gardens of eden. We come from a world, on Earth with no divorce and no violence. We come from ages of celebration going back millions of years. The history of the world is false - it is a bare shred of truth masquerading as an improvement on barbarism.
By the time most of our eight years old, we have been faced with parents that don't know that our self is all we need, that sex is unnecessary to form lasting and divine unions with one another, conceiving our holy children in a way we have done for countless generations. We receive innoculations, which shock are bodies with poison and we play with manufactured toys while our minds strain to connect to a pristine Universe of nature in order to activate our holy brains and nervous system and read the book of life that God has written in all the living world and in the stars. This is all, needless to say, a shock. And, still, it is a conversation God is having with us, yes?
So when I hear and see people with remarkable sensitivities and think, great. But I also observe that most of the people I meet have endured sustained levels of stress in their lives. And this can lead to us adopted modes of belief (perception) of our selves or the world that are ways of medicating ourselves. Some people grow up believing they are stupid (when they are geniuses). Some people grow up believing that what makes them special is some kind of curse. And when they see their own family hurting themselves out of repressed anger (shock) and celebrating this is all part of how families are supposed to be, well, the heart knows deceit when it sees it. Every child knows the deceit that is sex. Children, today, are being conceived without sex and this creates unions that are true marriages of minds.
We are not animals. We are Man, male and female human beings. Children of the God that has created this incredible Earth for us to live on .
The world is changing back to its pristine origins. God is accelerating the energies of creation, to restore the world and bring about an even greater creation. God has kept the sun shining brighter than ever even as our hearts have faded - and sun is a reflection of our hearts, such is the light of Man: "and the light was the life of Man"
When someone is in shock, it is not uncommon to have a heightened perception of one or more channels of knowing. This is also part of spiritual transformation, along with various acute sensitivities.
I have not had much time to consider what it means to be an empath. I have spent must of my time trying to open my heart in order to step out of the way of my own healing from shock.
Often it is the protection from a love-challenged environment that maintains pain for people, on top of the original shock or trauma. The mind reverts to its desire for paradise and will set up some way to achieve that, even adopting tentative beliefs about the self being specially gifted in one way or another. It is not that we are not specially gifted, but that sometimes we can get into a way of labelling ourselves that protects us from our pain, only maintaining the pain, using our ego as medication.
Families do this all the time. It is called codependency, a shared belief in how to manage pain without having to do anything about it, usually fostered by the fear of lonliness, of being separated from the ones we love (or from God) by our own natural anger.
As a medication, it is only natural, and can also be included in the healing process, the conversation with God. There is time enough for everything.
People gathering in the spirit of sensitivity and even greatly heightened sensitivity is a culture whose time is come. And certainly I feel warmed and welcomed by a culture of people lovingly sharing in the community of sensory channels available to the human being, all of which support the healing of everyone with an infinite bliss intelligence, a healing that is inevitable and deeply valuable to every individual soul as we learn about the one thing we are all here to learn about - love.
We are responsible for our pain. The very things we do to protect ourselves from pain are the very things that cause our pain. Our immune system (our heart) can not medically be open and in protection at the same time. I hear a lot on here people talking about being very sensitive and all needing to protect themselves from others.
I can totally relate. However, I do not wish to adopt a way of believing that places me in a destiny of stress, or acculturates me to just another expression of specialized belief that maintains pain. I can already do that. I am already there.
My self is good. I am not my pain. But who I am is deeply involved in the healing process. I will not use my freedom to say my pain is me. And I am sensing that a lot of people here believe that. Pain does not make you an empath. It makes you human, at this point in our evolution. It makes you someone capable of opening your heart and balancing the Universe of this pristine Earth.
I am just a human being, like you. Everyone is sensitive. Everyone has a different response to life. And if there is a common sense of overwhelm or shock about what makes you the miracle of being that you are then by all means seek out the belief or the pattern that makes you think that it has to be this way or that being an empath or a human means that you have to be a "threatened sensitive" or a "victimized genius."
Other people are bound to get to us because we are ourselves our in protection. Mirrors are bound to scream at us and put us in places of great pain. By all means, set up the most peaceful situation in life that you can. but, please, do not say that being an empath means you have to be in pain. If you are in pain it is because you have a good heart and it is opening, just like everyone on Earth.
Shock can lead to heightened sensitivities to light, to people to sounds to "spiritual vibrations." Some people are more sensitive during certain periods of growth. But their sensitivity is not the cause of their pain, it is a symptom of it.
It is possible that some people will grasp onto the empath label while needing to heal from very human levels of emotional shock, or as a a safe harbour in families with codependency.
Attention Deficit dissorder could just be a sensitivity to hormones in meat and dairy causing thought to acccelerate too much, or to resperidol in vaccinations. It is not necessarily a sign, in itself, of being an advanced human being. It could be a sign of being an ordinary human being, just like me, just like everyone else and that there are some pains that cannot be solved right away but could use some attention.
And if that child were to wrap his ego around being special because he had attention deficit dissorder, then he is not given thought to being special just for being him, an ordinary human being who cares and loves and senses the miraculous world of God's endlessly wondrous creation.
We are all special. And we are all ordinary.
There is a lot of shock. There is a lot pain management that goes on in human culture and in human subculture and in families. The answer is the same - open the heart and trust in yourself. you are not your pain. your feelings are always valid. everyone is a highly sensitive person entraining to an emerging world of pristine origins, of new dawning truth, and of the myriad wonders of this eternal life.
Namaste
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Re: knowing emotional pain
Wed, June 17, 2009 - 9:33 AMEmpath is a new word, as I or many others may use it. Empath, to feel others emotions as their own, as well as other things like hormones and pheromones. But feelings others emotions are not all we feel, but but then maybe those things are because of our sensitivity and spiritual nature, not just being a Empath, but then can one separate one from the other.
Empath was not around years ago, I used to look in books and online and could never find it as I described. I would look for words to describe myself decades ago, but was comfortable or did not like the ones available. I guess Star Trek, Next Generation influenced me in my use of the word, and its expansion, for my use.
I used to look online and could not find my description, but then when I looked nearly a year ago, I found Empath being used just as I used it, by others and sites online. I had to wonder how this came to be. It occurred to me, that Empaths and Sensitives must of been communicating on some subconscious level, and coming to the same conclusions as I was. I believe when God provides revelation, it can rain down upon all who are able to hear it or understand it. It has been well known, that when great scientific discoveries happen, usually many world wide get it and work on it, but the one with the greatest pull, money and first news media coverage gets the credit and reward.
In my discovery years ago of who I was, words like clairvoyant, Intuitive, psychic, Highly Sensitive Person, or even Sensitive did not seem to fit, but in time Empath did. I also found that I was so sensitive that I mirrored other emotional and physical happenings as well. So while on Indigo Society site, I coined the tile, Hypersensitive Morphic Empath for myself; highly sensitive, I tend to morph others feelings and if close enough physical body things as well. Being morphic is not so rare, husbands and twins often do it. And women living together often synchronize their Menes start times.
I think we are all more connected then we fully realize both mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. But as Sensitives we are more aware and tapped into it.
David
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Re: knowing emotional pain
Wed, June 17, 2009 - 5:03 PMListening to Nine Inch Nails, Closer or Hurt, or listen to Android Lust, Dragonfly or Stained. That always helps me to feel better. -
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Re: knowing emotional pain
Fri, June 19, 2009 - 9:04 AMAre you talking about ways to dull the pain, I use overload, at times of food, sound, people, stay too tired and etc, maybe not real healthy, but it works. A a more normal bases, it helps to watch TV, eat comfort foods, and regularly use relaxing pain killing nervine herbs. Really important to eat a super nutritious diet.
David
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