Green's books indeed are not 'breezy reading'
..i will be understanding new things in them
still at the end of my life, I'm sure ..harsh lives,
yes, but i think most of the world's population
as a whole lives what could be considered
a 'harsh life' perhaps, and certainly more so
the case the further back in time one were
to go ..Green seems to take a very Plutonic
approach to writing of Pluto, it would seem,
heh ..focusing on the pain and 'darkness'
and any possible transformations that
come of that depth, a depth people rarely
look to in themselves or others on a day to
day basis, entire lives lived, where possible,
where such depths / dimensions of the self
are seen if circumstance and happenstance
forces one to take a look ..so, really, i don't
think he's writing about anything more harsh
than most of that which is common human
experience, simply repressed or at least
denied from consciousness ..it could be
projection, but honestly i sense such 'dark'
in everybody ..even children have it, but, if
fortunate enough in circumstance, are so
constantly in authentic motion on every
level of the being that the Plutonic elements
in their being and body don't 'coagulate'
the way that of older peoples' with deepening
conditionings do ..children maybe only begin
to force Pluto away when they, very painfully,
realize there are no adults who are going
to want enough to do with Pluto to help the
child through the Plutonic experience ..Pluto
becomes incredibly stigmatized ..and so
Scorpio loves taboos

women have incredible powers as women
if they choose to and are aware enough to
use them ..the world even as it is is full of
advantages that only women have, things the
classically male mind/consciousness
perhaps can't help but mostly overlook, be
unaware of, unable to interfere with or
oppress (except in the grossest of senses)
..so women have long been called 'manipulative
witches' by weak or controlling men who
would insist the workings of a woman's
mind and consciousness be as evident to
him as his own (when in fact that is not even
naturally possible) rather than appreciate and
have with it the complex relationships and
communications where the autonomy of each
is respected and enriching ..women, themselves
as women, do indeed have power, irregardless
of the world around them

the advantage / power men seem to have in this
world is not so great ..for every man you see
rising to some position in the world that seems
easy and open to him in a way it may not be to
a woman or an other of some sort, there is a
more 'powerful' man watching and wanting it to
be 'easy' for that man for his own completely
self-centered intention ..if the more 'powerful' do
not agree, nothing will be 'easy' or an 'advantage'
for that man ..perhaps it's true, the more 'powerful'
are likely to favor a male, but to what? walking into
a scripted pawn-like role in someone else's
impersonal intentions? ..there is no richness, no
'treasure' in that, no true anyway ..life will still be as
it is when one walks into such an arrangement
and the true 'treasure' of life would still have to be
found elsewhere, even if from the window of a
nicer car ..we are all equal ..and who wants to
play games or anything more worthwhile than
games with people who play by rules counter to
the true joy that can be had in human life?
..'the men' may indeed have 'the power' by some
appearances ..'but are these happy, truly joyful
men?', i have always asked myself ..the saddest
thing perhaps though is that even people outside
of such conglomerations of distraction are just as
unlikely to do what it takes to claim the potentials
of joy, happiness, truth ..the field much larger and
more essential than the fields of business, fame,
fortune, etc. is as wide open to anyone ..all are
perhaps guilty of doing too little about it, yes?

women are awesome creatures ..it is something
every woman should know in life as soon as possible


past-lives ..i don't believe one way or the other as to
whether there is such a thing ..two things i am
comfortable enough to talk about though is once i
had some kind of..something..it wasn't a dream, it
wasn't a day-dream, it wasn't chemically induced,
it wasn't mere imagination, certainly not any
experience of 'imagination' i've ever otherwise
encountered ..it was simply very much apart from
any sort of mental experience i had before or since
..for a few moments i saw a man in a field from a
time obviously not of this or the previous centruy
(whether from his clothing, manner, or even the
quality of the sky and such), the man was chopping
wood for a few moments and then fell over dead of
a heart-attack ..unusual as he looked young for a
heart-attack ..something in the death told me the
story though ..this man was so unintelligent he was
almost a mute, otherwise seemingly normal, there
may have been a hereditary contribution to the
circumstance but it was somehow clear that his
heart was both physically and metaphorically full
of pain, the pain of having been an almost perfectly
selfless man, the sort who did anything for anyone
as though he hadn't really the slightest concept of
what else to do with himself, the tiny barely at all
developed 'town' he had lived in was only smarter
enough than himself to have taken advantage of
his disposition completely ..he died from the pain
of a heart never truly nourished in return, regardless
that he had never thought to want anything in return

and in the next moment i saw as if the exact opposite
of that man, seeming somehow to be from a time as
much as a century in difference, beneath a tree, yet
another field, alone, this man for some reason was
dressed in all black, nicely, were it not for how
completely unkempt and self-neglected he was, the
black suit-like clothing i did not understand, for if he
had been minister, for instance, which would be
fitting of appearance, this was a man who had fallen
unthinkably 'far from grace' ..again i was only seeing
the last moments of a life and a death that told me
everything ..he was intoxicated, chronically so, to the
point of contributing to what was, once again, a heart
attack as cause of death ..but of the completely
opposite sort 'metaphysically' speaking ..this was a
man who's heart had for some time not given to nor
even been 'open' to others, 'a black heart', as black
as the clothing he wore, a heart full of the pain that
is at the basis of what is hatred, the kind of pain,
untended, that becomes hatred, somehow it was
evident this man had every conceivable form of
hatred against every human being he had ever
known or could imagine ..and of this hatred, this
pain, far more so than from the alcohol, he died

interesting things