What do you get when you cross a Unitarian Universalist with a Jehovah's Witness?
Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

Conversation overheard:
Person A (Mainstream Protestant Denomination): I hear that you allow all sorts of weirdos in your church. Atheists, Buddhists, Pagans...
Person B (Unitarian Universalist): We allow Christians too -- we're very open minded!

Q: Why did the Unitarian-Universalist cross the road?
A: To support the chicken in its search for its own path

A Unitarian is just a Quaker with Attention Deficit Disorder.

A Unitarian hymn:
"Praise Be to Whom It May Concern"

What is a Unitarian Universalist?
Someone who believes in life before death.

There are very few Unitarians in Wyoming, and recently when one died the family approached a Methodist Minister and asked her if she could perform the service. She said she would be happy to do so, but first, in order to be on the safe side, she had to contact her bishop in Denver for permission. A few days later she received a reply, "Permission granted. Bury all the Unitarians you want!"

You might be a UU if . . .
- you have ever been in an argument over whether or not breast milk is vegan.
- when you dress for a formal evening out you wear a little black dress, pearls--and Birkenstocks (and your wife thinks you look great!)
- you are unsure about the gender of God.
- you own six pairs of Birkenstocks and your favorite pair needs to be thrown away.
- you get Newt Gingrich confused with the Grinch who Stole Christmas.
- the money you sent to the Sierra Club last year was more than you spent on your mother at Christmas.
- you think the Holy Trinity is "reduce, reuse and recycle."
- you study the "ten suggestions" instead of the "Ten Commandments."
- the only time "Jesus" is mentioned at church is when someone trips or stubs a toe.
- your child says to you before eating dinner at a friend's house "I'll remember to say my 'pleases' and 'thank yous' but I'm not going to say that dinner 'pledge of alliegance'."
- you think a Holy day of Obligation is your turn to do coffee.
- you get mail from committees you didn't know you were on.
- you know at least two people who are upset that trees had to die for your church to be built.

A little mental sorbet for you between courses. Take care of yourselves! Blessed Be!

;o) Hi, again, PaganPaul!